I haven’t really been part of the “net scene” for years.  Ever since my camgirl days, I’ve kind of faded out of the web… or so I thought.  Over the past couple of years I’ve gotten some pretty interesting emails from people asking what I’ve been up to.  And every now and then someone will send me a link to a site or forum where people continue to talk about me (i.e. make up rumors about what I’m doing these days).

Got a pretty interesting one lately.  Apparently some people on some lame ass website are saying I’m some sort of escort who travels the world and meets high-end clients for money.  Another person said I do sexual favors in some club for $100 and that they have photographic evidence of it.

Hehe!

Sorry to disappoint everyone but I’m definitely not an escort.  Nor do I travel the world (although that would be pretty nifty).  I’ve also never performed any sexual favors for money.  And to the person who claims to have photographic evidence of me doing naughty things - please, please, please send me copies of that shit!  I’d love to check it out.

I’m still your average college student and there’s nothing really more to it than that, sorry.  I start back to school on August 25th and I’m taking Stats, Calc, Human Anatomy, and Cell Bio.  I just don’t have time to get down and dirty and travel to exotic countries and give dudes blowjobs.  Sorry.

I’m sure I’ll hear some more interesting rumors about me soon enough.  And I’ll definitely share them because they just keep getting better and better. 

And speaking of school… orientation is tomorrow!  Joel has decided to take the day off from work and go with me so I’m excited he will be taggin’ along.  More posts coming soon, I swear…

Oh, life.

I’ve been busier than hell lately trying to get registered for the fall semester of college.  This is what I get for waiting last minute.  I don’t even know if the classes I need are going to be available or not.  With my luck, everything will already be full.

I got my award letter yesterday informing me the amount in loans I’ve been awarded.  When you take The Colorado College Opportunity Fund into consideration, I really won’t be paying as much as I thought.  However, I’ve never taken out loans for school before (I’ve always paid for it out of pocket) so I didn’t really know how much of the loans to accept.  So… I accepted all of it.  *smirks*  Is that wrong?  I’ve really been getting better at managing my money.  No, seriously, I really have.  So I decided if everything goes right and I get accepted in all the classes I need to be in, those left over loans will go into my savings.  My savings has become my little treasure.  I rarely touch it and I think those funds would remain relatively safe in there.  I’ll use what I have to and then pay off the rest of the loans A.S.A.P.  I also get tuition reimbursement from my work.  The only thing I am really worried about are the cost of books.  Ooh, don’t get me started on goddamn books, seriously.  You wanna talk about a rip-off!  Those things cost what… $5 to make and put together and yet we pay $300 for one biology book, $200 for a Calc II book!  Ri.dic.u.lous.

Last night I spent about 4 hours or so browsing the student website for my college.  I logged into the registration area, set up my email, etc. etc.  When you log in, the welcome screen has Dictionary.com’s Word of the Day listed.  Yesterday’s word was indigent which means extremely poor.  HA!  What made it even more humorous is the fact that it was listed right above the links to my financial aid loans.  Yep, totally taking that as a sign.  A sign that I will be in debt to colleges from this day forward probably for the rest of my life.  It’ll be worth it though… right?  RIGHT?!  Someone please comfort me and remind me that a higher education in this day of age is worth something!

Even though I just said I really am doing better at managing my money, I can’t stop with the MAC!  My list is growing and I love every piece of makeup that company has to offer.  But I’m done buying it for a while.  I really am.  It’s such an expensive addiction but damn-it-all-to-hell, I’m getting mighty good at eyeshadow application and I can pull off some really neat looks now!  I never thought I would be so in love with such bright colors (I still think my favorite MAC eyeshadow is Parrot - I use it all the time).  But sorry, MAC - I’ve got to start worrying about school again so I have to put you on hold for a bit.  That doesn’t mean I can’t work on some wicked makeup tricks, though.  I need to take swatch pictures of all the colors I have and upload them.  It’ll take a while but it’s something I really want to do.  They’re just too damn pretty!

In other news, I meet with my lawyer tonight regarding my small claims case.  At $100 an hour, you better believe I’m gonna be talking fast and rushing her because this whole thing is getting obsurd (well past that point, actually).  My ex-landlords hired an attorney and he’ll be representing them in court, as far as I know.  They’re running out of time to file a Notice of Representation so they better hurry their asses up!  It has to be done at least 7 days before the dreaded court date (July 10th).  But yeah, I’m seeking legal advice just to get some information and make sure I am doing everything correctly, more or less.  The woman I’m meeting with is going to call their lawyer as well and let him know that I’ve come to her and that she will be representing me if this is the path they choose to take.  I am hoping that once the landlords see I am not joking around and am willing to hire a lawyer just like them, they’ll decide to settle and stop being greedy scumbags.  I have a feeling they hired this attorney just to call and scare me into settling for less and there is no way that is going to happen.  Joel and I have put too much of our own money and time into this crap so far and I’m going through with it, period.  So everyone please cross your fingers for me and I’ll let you all know what the lawyer says tonight after I talk to her.

So far 2008 has really sucked some major ass for me.  Old, crusty, sour ass for that matter.  I’ve been nothing but stressed and tired 24/7 and my hatred for the human race grows more and more every single day.  July will probably be my worst month; there’s just too much to get done and put up with.

Right now I can honestly say “fuck my life” and mean it.  Hopefully that will change soon.

So I mentioned that Joel and I made the decision to take our ex-landlords to small claims court due to the fact that they’re trying to keep the majority of my deposit ($1,200 out of $1,500) for bogus reasons.  They claimed they had to repaint the entire apartment because the walls were black from smoke residue (Joel and I have never smoked in our entire lives).  They’re saying they had to spend 36 (thirty-fucking-six) additional hours cleaning the place because we left it completely trashed.  They’re also trying to keep money for normal wear and tear issues (we’re talking small, stupid crap) even though the law prohibits them from doing so.

Here are 111 pictures Joel and I took on our last day in the apartment.  Yep, that’s right.  One hundred eleven photos of everything inside that damn place.  Please flip through them and tell me if you honestly think that place looks trashed or if the walls look too black or if you see anything wrong whatsoever!

The couple of shots in there with the “smudge” in the tub is a so-called chip that she is charging us $85 to fix.  To be completely honest with you, I thought it was a smooshed fly or bug but according to them, and I quote, it’s “a large chip in the tub in which a huge section of the tub must be replaced.”

I’m agreeing to pay for the things I deserve to get charged for.  I did spill some bleach on the carpet upstairs near the laundry area when I was washing clothes once and I am totally at fault for that.  I did accidentally stain the linoleum in the upstairs bathroom because I got the bathroom rug wet and the dyes stained it yellow (there’s a picture of that in there too).  I am owning up to what I ruined on accident and I am not fighting that.  But for this woman to come back to me with an itemized bill a mile long and say that the place was literally a hell hole; trashed beyond belief is ridiculous!  She also threatened me once and said if I take her to court, she would write up a new itemized bill and we’d end up owing her money (because the place was just that bad).  *rolls eyes*

So we’re going to court July 10th and I cannot wait to see the look on her face when I present these pictures to the judge.  I have the right to sue for up to three times the amount I believe I’m owed but I’m not going to do that.  I want the judge to know I only want what is rightfully mine - that I’m not there just to make some extra money.  Hopefully the judge will take a look at my pictures, laugh at the landlord, and tell me that I’m in the right and deserve most of my money back.

Take a look at those pictures and tell me what you think, honestly.  And someone please tell me you’d do the exact same thing if you were getting screwed over this bad.

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.  -  King Stephen

It’s true, kiddos!  I am making a slow but sure return to the blogging world and that means I must resurrect this domain of mine.  I’ve still got a lot of work to do and I need to work on some of the pages that already exist but it’s coming along nicely.  Slowly but surely.

I last left off informing everyone that Joel and I had broken up.  Thankfully we mended our problems and got back together before Thanksgiving of last year.  This time around things have definitely been better and we have both grown emotionally and learned a lot from each other.  I am so lucky to still have him in my life and I really couldn’t be happier.  He is my entire world.  I get so whiny when I don’t get to spend time with him, lol!

Joel and I now rent a house (with another roomie) and it’s so much better than being cooped up in an apartment or small townhome!  Our dogs now have a backyard to play in and there’s plenty of room for guests.  My sister came during the week of my birthday and stayed a few nights with us.  I bet she was happy to have her own room & bathroom!

Same job.
New part time job.
School in the fall.
Back to brown hair… but for how long?
New MAC inventory page + helpful makeup sites.

I know there are more important things that need to be said but for now, I’ll leave you with that.  Stay tuned for more updates, pictures, videos, etc.  I have a lot left to do!

How long have I been online now?  I started a personal site when I was what, 15 or 16?  And now I’m 24 and I don’t update nearly as much as I used to.  Maybe it’s because life at 16 was so much more interesting than it is now, I don’t know.  But so much has changed.  So much.

I don’t even know where to begin because I know a lot of you have been following me all this time and have no clue what I’ve been through.  I’ve been at the same job now for 3+ years and I still enjoy it.  I’ve got my health insurance and all that great stuff so I really don’t plan on leaving it anytime soon.  I also work a second part time job for the extra money so I can save up and get my ass back in school.  I am so damn far behind but there’s not much I can do about it at the moment so I’ve learned to just deal with it.

My love life isn’t so hot right now, although I wish it were.  I was recently dating Joel (who still lives with me) but thinks sort of ended badly and I wasn’t very happy about it.  We are civil and still talk to each other and I hope it stays that way but I would be lying if I said I didn’t love him anymore.  I still do, very much.  I hope we are able to reconcile our relationship in the future because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.  And I’ve never been that happy with anyone else, either.

From cheerleader to fat couch potato and back to fit again, I’ve been on a whacky weight rollercoaster these past few years.  I ballooned up to the heaviest weight I’ve ever been (I can’t even tell you how much it was because typing the numbers makes me sick).  I couldn’t stand it so I focused more on what I was eating and before long, the weight started dropping again.  I’m at the lowest weight I’ve been at in a long time.  In fact, I think I might weigh less now than I did senior year of high school.  My muscles are returning, I can see my abs, and I don’t get winded when climbing stairs.  :)  So far I’ve lost over 30 pounds and I’m still going.  Man, I sure did miss my muscles all these years.

My goals and dreams are still the same.  I am still shooting for medical school and I know I will get there, it’s just a matter of when.  But I can’t keep worrying about the future or else I will drive myself insane!  I’m learning to take each day as it comes because that’s all I can do at the moment.

I guess I’m just tired of being stressed.

I still live in Colorado and wish everyday that I had family closer to me.  I still have my pups, Kai and Toby, and they still mean more to me than anything in this world.  I’ve lost friendships, gained friendships, and learned a lot of tough lessons recently and I have a feeling there is more of that ahead of me.

I know there is so much more I haven’t shared with all of you but I guess I still don’t know where to begin.